I Rushed the Court!

Wright State played an amazing game last night against our rival Butler and we won! For the first time since I’ve been going to Wright State (off & on since ’99), the students around here are finally excited for our athletics, mainly basketball. So, now we are in the NCAA tournament which is rare for us. I am very excited to be part of this, oh and I also had a chance to rush the court after the game; it was a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, I don’t have any photos for you all, but I will try and get something.

It’s great to be green!

Life Lessons

Through my life, I have always tried to find an older man to be a close friend to me because well, I never really had a father around. Unfortunately, in recent years, I have been unable to find someone that I could rely on to be there for me when I have questions or problems. With this realization, I believe that God has put certain people in my life to help me through certain problems that I have to deal with. Sometimes these people are just brief moments in my life and other times I have found some truly unique and lifelong friendships. In any case, I find myself just amazed sometimes of what I have learned from them and what I learned about myself that I could not do on my own. I believe that with almost everyone I meet, I can learn something from them and I hope to continue to do so.

I think I am in need of a major change in my life and I’m not quite sure how I am going to go about doing this because recently I have been living a very stale life. I have done a number of things with my college experience that I love, but I believe that God has something a lot more in store for me if I would only step up to the plate. I need to talk to someone and I don’t know how I am going to do that.

Dell Inspiron E1505

Well, last week I somehow managed to slam my laptop closed and ended up breaking my display; it shows a white screen that changes color to red and back! Thankfully, that was it and the laptop still functions, so I just plugged her into my LCD tv and got business done. This was a very inefficient was of conducting business so I went ahead a bought a new Dell laptop with Windows Vista! I love my new laptop with its large hard drive, gigs of RAM, and an Intel Core 2 Duo processor! Hey, I used to be a big geek years back and I still have a little in me!

Long Nights

In recent weeks, I have been having sleeping problems again and tonight I thought what better way to spend my sleeping time than to blog! Since I have not really posted much material in the last few months, I think I need to get an update out there for people who don’t see me very often. Here it goes...

Last quarter I was dealing with a number of issues and a lot of stress and sickness. Yet after skipping at least half my classes, I still managed a 3.33 GPA for that quarter (this is why I call it Wright High and not Wright State). This quarter, I have decided to go only half-time since I was anticipated another active duty stint in the Corps, but since they don’t want me, I guess I will have to stick it out around here for a bit longer.

In the meantime, I try to fill a lot of my free time with road trips to wherever I feel like going. In December, I drove to Niagara Falls, Canada and Quantico, Virginia. I mostly went to the Falls just to get out of the country for a bit, even if it is Canada and Quantico was for a visit to the National Museum of the Marine Corps. I strongly recommend that trip to anyone interested in military history. In addition, last month I made a trip out to Atlantic City just to check it out; it is nowhere near as nice as Las Vegas. Here are just a few photos of my recent travels (you must go to my flickr page to see them all):



So this is just a brief on the surface update of what I’ve been up to lately.

Navy and Marine Corps Achievment Medal

Last month, I was also awarded my combat award and this is the citation:

For meritorious achievement as fire team leader, 1st Platoon, Company L, 3D Battalion, 25th Marines, Regimental Combat Team 2, 2D Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (forward) in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom 03-05 and 04-06 from 11 March to 20 September 2005 in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. On 20 April 2005 during a civil affairs mission in Barwana, Corporal McCauley participated in a raid on a high value target which captured the individual, his substantial weapons cache, and stopped his distribution of harmful anti-coalition propaganda. Later in the same day, Corporal McCauley and his team provided overwatch as his platoon reacted to an enemy ambush. His team’s actions allowed the platoon to force the insurgents to break contact and flee the battlefield. On 8 May 2005 during Operation Matador in the town of New Ubaydi, Corporal McCauley directed his team under heavy enemy fire to a rooftop position to provide effective suppression on an insurgent machine gun position. Corporal McCauley’s initiative, perseverance, and total dedication to duty reflected credit upon him and were in keeping with the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service.

Sergeant

In case no one noticed my new headline, I was promoted to Sergeant last month. I was really somewhat surprised to pick it up faster than Corporal, but you will hear no complaints from me. I look forward to being a squad leader and the training of junior Marines.

Unfortunately, I am also unable to volunteer to serve another tour because my battalion will not let anyone go. I am not very pleased with this at all but will have 4 weeks in Australia this summer for our annual training to look forward to.

Round 3

This week is the 3rd round of antibiotics that I am taking. I had the luxury of visiting a couple of doctors on Monday and they both had different opinions. The first doctor was my mother's doctor and he said that I might have pneumonia and I need to have x-rays taken to see. So, I went back to the VA to have them look at me and well, I didn't want to pay for the x-rays when the VA will do it for free. So after I get the x-rays taken, the VA doctor said that everything looks fine and there is a slight noise coming from one of my lungs, but it is still probably bronchitis.

Now I am taking these good antibiotics for the next week to hopefully kill whatever is in me and I can go on with a peaceful life that I once had a couple months ago. Oh wait, there will probably be no peaceful life because the Republicans screwed up and now I have a Democrat governor and Nancy Pelosi will soon be the House Majority Leader.

On another note, I was able to get a photo of Cpl. Michael Lasky. Lasky was killed in Iraq on November 2nd in a town that I operated out of last year.
He volunteered to go back.


Cpl. Lasky left behind his wife Jessica and 1 year old daughter Liberty.

Lost Another Lima Brother

Today I just found out that a Marine in my platoon last year, who was a replacement while in Iraq, was killed on Thursday. Here's all I could find online in a statement:

Cpl. Michael H. Lasky, 22, of Sterling, Alaska, died Nov. 2 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Lasky was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 4th Reconnaissance Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Elmendorf Air Force Base, Alaska.

I did not know that he was already sent back to Iraq. I am just in disbelief that another Marine I knew and worked with, died in Iraq.

Halp us Jon Carry

Here is an addition to my previous entry and here is the link to the story: Guard unit in Iraq sends up Kerry comments

I hope this brings some joy and laughter to your life as it did mine.

Still In The News

Yep, the Washington Post is still covering news of Lima Company. So if you like to check on the current status of my company, here is a link to the article that just covers problems the unit is dealing with as it is still adjusting to being home.

When the War Comes Home

My favorite part is the lovely comments people leave at the end of the article. So, make sure to check that out also check out the photos with audio commentary. The link is a paragraph or two down and on the right. Or you can click this.

In other news of this lovely world of politics and my opinion...

Senator John Kerry spent most of the day refusing to apologize for comments made to a student rally in California on Monday night when he told them this about education: "That if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

My opinion in the matter, if you care, he's a jackass.

Chugging Along

Last week I found out that I probably have had bronchitis for the last 3 weeks. Well, that is what the doctor told me on Tuesday anyways. I finally got tired of coughing so much and just feeling really horrible at times, so I did go to the VA to be checked out. They just gave me 3 doses of antibiotics and I am feeling a lot better now, but I still cough occasionally. I thought 3 doses was kind of small, but that’s what I get for going to the VA I suppose.

Some good news to report, I guess having a lot of stress and being sick helps you lose weight. For almost the past month, I just have had no appetite and now I weigh 14 pounds less than last month. Not the way I wanted to go about losing my post deployment weight gain, but it will work I guess. And classes, well I had to miss several the last couple of weeks because I was sick and now I am trying to play catch up so that I can still bust out some good grades.

Starry Night

The other night, I had to make a trip out to John Bryan State Park to do a physics lab in regards to the constellations. Unfortunately, the moon messed up my plans because it was almost full and I could not see very many stars. Nonetheless, I did not want to leave quite yet because it was a clear night and rather warm for this time of year. So I just laid on my car hood gazing up at the stars and listening to some good country music. This brought back memories of when I was at sea a couple years ago. I would just lie on the flight deck at night and just be amazed by the number of stars I could see. Also, when I was in Iraq last year, I did this as well. There were many nights of sleeping on roofs or up on firewatch in the middle of the desert. I would gaze up on the stars and would usually see about 3-4 shooting stars before I went to sleep.

All of this brought me a peace that I have not had in a long time. In Iraq, I looked at the stars a lot because it gave me an escape from the war I was living through. Being able to just ponder God’s amazing creation of the heavens made me feel at peace. Well, the other night when I was doing this, it brought me that peace that I was looking for and it felt really good. I stayed out there for about an hour before I left.

If you have never really taken the time to get away from the city and go somewhere to gaze upon the stars for a while, I strongly recommend it. It has always helped relaxed me and I just forgot how much I miss doing it.

When Speaking to a Combat Veteran...

I found this letter the other day and I thought that it was relevent.


WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A SOLDIER AND HOW TO HELP THEM ADJUST

1. Please do not ask "did you shoot anybody?" This is not a question that is easily answered. If they were involved in firefights, some will have horrible images left of the dead, if they were not involved in firefights, they feel you will instantly label them as weak.

2. Most do not feel like heros once returning home and have a hard time with all the "thank yous" and hero fanfare. Jason did not feel like a hero. As one soldier put it, I am a hero to my wife, but as soon as I tell her about the dead women and children then I will instantly go from hero to monster. I will never be able to tell her anything.

3. Instead of thank you offer a "Welcome Home". When Jason got off the plane in DSM a woman saw him in his uniform and asked if she could give him a hug and kept saying thank you to him. He was a little confused but gave her a hug. He had no idea what the thank yous were for. He was in Iraq only to keep himself and comrades alive, nothing else.

4. The body never lies. Jason had a hard time adjusting to the fact that a M-16 was no longer attached to his side. He kept brushing his hip looking for it. It will take awhile to adjust to their protective equipment being removed. Loud noises will cause reactions, fire crackers sound like small arms fire, which in Jason's case caused him to automatically go into low army crawl into the garage and take cover and position himself to aim back at the enemy. Please be sensitive to these things. Do not make them feel stupid or crazy, just let them know they are safe and you understand why they reacted this way.

5. Some will never talk! This is essential to healing the mental wounds. Find a quiet space and tell them that you truly want to help and as hard as it may be to hear their story. Do not tell them to put it away or forget about it. When Jason finally did speak about the things he saw and did he was crying out for his chaplin. A neutral party that understood where he had been. Most will not go to the VA hospitals, but Vet Centers are located in most major cities that offer support groups and is conducted by combat veterans. They know more than anybody. Please locate these centers in your area.

6. Flash-backs do happen and leave the soldier confused afterwards. Just try to help them back to present time and again do not make them feel crazy.

7. Survivor guilt - Jason questioned why he had not died, but yet soldiers standing to the left and right of him had. This is normal in any traumatic situation that leaves survivors. Again vet centers are available to help talk through these feelings.

8. Do not discuss whether you argree or disagree with this war unless the soldier has made his statement first. Please remember, most of the soldiers fighting this war are Reserves and National Guard, this was suppose to be a weekend job...., so they were just as confused when they were called to duty. But the reason they go may not necessarily be because they agree with the situation, it's because their battle buddies need them to be there to help keep them alive.

9. Most soldiers will have a hard time admitting that they are experiencing PTSD. It starts in boot camp, they are taught to be tough physically and mentally, this a hard mind-set to break. If we keep PTSD in the news and on the minds of Americans, it should be common knowledge that no one comes home from a war unwounded. Adjustment and counseling should be mandatory to help them reintegrate back into their civilian lives.

10. Please do all you can to bring awareness to this disease which has been around since every war. Soldiers need our help, and yes it is true that some of their rights are taken away once joining the military and free speech is one of them. They rely upon you and me, the ones they are willing to die for, to stand up for them and fight for their rights.

In memory of Spc. Jason Cooper 4/16/82 - 7/14/05 and the 88 Iraq veterans who took their lives after returning home in 2005.
www.jason-cooper.memory-of.com
One proud Mom,
Terri Jones

A Miserable End for a Miserable Week

Well, last night they took my uncle off life support and he died shortly thereafter.

I got back to Dayton late last night and I do not know what I should feel about all of this now other than the fact that it is better for him to come off that damn machine. Apparently, he has been on it for most of last month and only wanted to be on it for a week. He has been unresponsive for most of that time as well, though the doctors told us he was able to hear us.

It was so hard to talk to him while seeing him in that condition.

My flight home was the worst ever. Screaming babies, missed flights, and of course my luggage which is somewhere out there. And to add to all of this misery, I have some kind of sickness for the past 2 weeks which is getting worse. It is rare for me to get sick except with a cold or something, but now this.

Going Out West

Well, I was able to snag a military discounted airfare to Washington state for tomorrow evening. My mother is already there and has told me that my uncle is on life support and does not look too good. I do not know what to expect or know how I am going to react to all of this. Definitely not looking forward to it all, but I am glad that I am able to go. I will be staying there until Saturday.

On another note, I would just like to thank all my friends. Lately, I have been going through a lot of crap and have been able to talk to a lot of people about some of it. This has really helped me and I have never been able to do this before. Also, there are a few of you, who I have never met, who have actually helped me as well with your stories or words of encouragement. Thanks again.

When It Rains, It Pours

Last night, my mother called me to tell me that my uncle is in critical condition in the hospital; the doctors give him 24 hours. I don't know how to react to this news. I am already hurting from some other stuff going on and now this. My mother wants to fly out to Washington state to see him and wants me to come with her. I really want to, but I have problems with missing some tests in school and the plane ticket is over $600.

Outside my immediate family, my uncle is really the only other family I have. Through the years, he and his wife have supported me in so many ways with my mission trips and life. He always brought a smile to my face with his constant humor and high spirit of life. Now he lies in a hospital, on the other side of the country, waiting to die and I cannot be there with him right now.

I don't know what to do. Sometimes, I feel like giving everything up and leaving.

My New War

There is some kind of saying out there that says you never know what you have until you lose it. I thought to myself about this after my deployment to Iraq and swore that I would do the most with my life that I can and cherish everyone because life is short. There were a lot of good men who did not come home and I feel obligated to make sure I live my life as best as I can for the ones who cannot. This may sound weird, but it is just how I honestly feel.

Recently, I lost someone in my life that I cared a lot for, but for some reason or another, I have a very difficult time showing emotion and affection. Ever since I got back home from Iraq, I feel distant from everyone. I feel that I don't fit in anywhere and I cannot open up to anyone, my friends or my family. Basically, I shut out a lot of people to my emotions because I'm afraid that I will lose them and I can't bare to go through that again.

I have realized that I have this problem and I am trying desperately to fix it. In the process, I really do try to make an effort but sometimes come up lacking and this has caused other people around me pain. I am truly sorry for that.

Right now, I am hurting and going through a lot of stress. I find myself sleeping just a few hours then waking up and just laying in bed for hours, waiting for the sun to come up and my day to begin. Even though I am so tired, I just cannot sleep. My eating habits have me eating very small meals before I get full and sometimes not wanting to eat at all. I feel this intense pressure building up inside me and all I want to do is scream or cry. There are many times that I feel like quitting school and volunteer for another tour in Iraq. Why you may ask; it is because life for me is easier in Iraq than here. True, I have people trying to kill me, but all I have to worry about is staying alive and watching my friend’s back. That is buried deep within instinct and comes easy to do. Whereas here at home, you have the wife or girlfriend to deal with, kids, school, traffic jams, forgetting a birthday, or even just a slow line at the grocery store would upset some people.

This is one of the most honest and emotional posts I have written in a very long time. While in Iraq, it was nice to put my thoughts down on paper and share them, than for me to tell people. This comes much more naturally to me and easier than talking about my feelings. I ask for your prayers while I am going through this hell per say. A country song says this:

If you're going through hell

Keep on going, Don't slow down

If you're scared, don't show it

You might get out

Before the devil even knows you're there

That is what I am trying to do. I also ask that anyone who knows me and sees me often, to please try and challenge me to be more open because I don’t want to hurt anyone else or go through life sealed up and dead on the inside.

This is my new war…

Whitewater Rafting

Last weekend, I was able to experience the rapids of the Gulley River in West Virginia. That is me in the front wearing a brown fleece. This was the first time I have ever done this and thoroughly enjoyed it, though the water was freezing cold. Moreover, I never fell out; I was told that I would probably fall out a few times. Never did, but did come close a few times. I really do not see how people get hurt doing this stuff. Our raft guide did not like me taking pictures, with a waterproof camera, during the rapids, but I tend to not listen when I really want to do something. (the photos came out horribly)

In addition, we were able to experience “The Mystery Hole.” After paying a small admission charge of $5, we ventured down into “The Mystery Hole.” Let me just say this, it was one of the most retarded things I have ever witnessed and experienced; we paid too much admission charge. Plus, due to their rules, no cameras were allowed to take photos inside, so I have this photo taken outside “The Mystery Hole.”



Just imagine what a white trash trailer park would do for a local attraction and that would set you up mentally for how dumb this thing was.

Road Trip

Tomorrow morning, I am leaving for Arkansas to visit Josh, Sabrina, and Aaron. Unfortunately, this will be my first and only road trip for the summer. I know a lot of people don't like to take long road trips and be by themselves, but I look forward to the open road (12 hours) for some time away. I get to listen to some good music and just think about somethings.

I do look forward to seeing my buddies this weekend and hopefully seeing a Mae concert with them; Joel always talks about how good they are, so now I get to experience it myself.

Silver Star Award Ceremony

Last Sunday, Lima Company had a ceremony to award two Silver Stars to two Marines in Lima Company; one in person and the other posthumously. The Silver Star is the US military’s third highest for military valor and the highest that any Marine in Lima Company has received. I know both the men who received the awards and would like to let my readers out there to read the story in the Columbus Dispatch:

Two Lima Company Marines to receive awards for valor

Or you can watch it on the news here: WBNS-10TV